Last month Hugh Described the over-zealous application of stop cards by ignorant health and safety officials. This month we start off with Hugh’s reply to a report he received on his flying:

OFFICIAL

Report on Stop Card ref 174/11/01

Raised on 9th-November-2002

Raised by Anon

On 9th-November-2001, a Stop Card was raised against the flight crew of the De Havilland DHC-6, which is currently on contract to the Company.

This expressed the concern of one of the aircraft’s passengers about the apparent practice of landing with the right main wheel touching down first. This he considered to be unsafe and he recommended that the airline procedure of ‘bringing all the landing gears into contact with the runway at the same time’ be adopted, in order to prevent an accident which might endanger the lives of the passengers who are compelled to use this form of transport.

Firstly, readers of this report should get one thing absolutely clear in their minds, before anything else is discussed. No modern airliner, with a tricycle undercarriage configuration, lands with all the wheels touching the ground at the same time. A large aircraft landing in that flight attitude would almost certainly require a ‘Hard Landing Inspection’, at the very least, after carrying out such an arrival. It is true to say that there are some specialised aircraft which do touch down with all wheels concurrently. One is a heavy bomber and the others are freighters designed for very specific requirements. None of them carry passengers.

In order to explain the need for the De Havilland DHC-6 to touch down with the left main wheel first, it is necessary cast our minds back to the early days, during the Construction Phase of this project.

Previously, during the Exploration Phase, only two of the nine destinations on the project were equipped with permanent runways. These were not paved but were constructed from Gypsum which was graded flat, sprayed with water, rolled and then compacted. Landings at all the other destinations were carried out on open areas of desert, adjacent to the various camp sites. The ability of the DHC-6 to be able to operate successfully in this environment was one of the deciding factors in the choice of this type of aircraft for the contract.

With the start of the construction phase, air traffic increased markedly and a need for a permanent runway, at Camps Kilo and Tango, was identified. Camp Tango’s landing ground was already sited and orientated conveniently for construction to start immediately. Camp Kilo, on the other hand required a completely new runway and so the air crew were invited to contribute their input to the calculations. Basically their recommendations, which were forwarded to the Client’s Management team, were that the new runway should be sited close to the main living area, for reasons of security and convenience and facing east/west, into the prevailing winds, which can reach speeds in excess of sixty knots at certain times of the year.

These recommendations were sent to the Client’s Head Quarters where a decision was made, by somebody who paid no attention to them at all, to position the new air strip seven kilometres away from the Camp Kilo construction site, facing north/south.

Only in conditions where the wind is straight down the axis of the runway or the wind is calm, can the DHC-6 be landed with both main wheels alighting at the same moment. For a landing with the wind across the runway, the upwind wing MUST be lowered into the wind, in order to keep the aircraft straight and therefore the upwind main undercarriage will perforce, touch the ground before the others. A cross-wind from the right will precipitate a landing with the right main wheel first. This is a fact of life. If a cross-wind landing should be attempted in a wings-level attitude, the aircraft will land sideways. Tyre damage and possible structural distortion may be expected in these circumstances. The aircraft may also depart from the runway and substantial airframe damage, injury and death could easily follow such an excursion.

There are two possible solutions to the complainant’s concerns. Firstly, it would be necessary to construct a new runway, facing into wind, following the aircrew’s original recommendations, in order to facilitate landings with both main landing gears touching down simultaneously. The second, less costly, solution is to continue as we are and request that the anonymous complainant be required to travel by road in the future.

Hoping that this assists you in your search for a safe and efficacious solution to the problems raised and that you will feel free to contact me if you have any further points for discussion.

I remain……..etc.

My report was considered too aggressive and confrontational to be copied to management and so we, the aircrew, remained guilty as charged, until proved innocent.

This politically correct outcome got right up my nostrils and I resolved not to leave our condemnation unchallenged.

The person who had caused us to be forced into this situation was the person who had put the runway there in the first place, against our recommendation. I decided to raise a Stop Card against him for, if nothing else, causing so much trauma to one of our esteemed passenger.

In case you should run away with the impression that a Stop Card is no more important than a Valentine’s Day greeting, I must describe the recommended method of delivery.

Upon witnessing a dangerous act or the High Potentiallity (HIPO) of a dangerous act being committed, the witness shall approach the offender purposefully, catching his attention and maintaining eye contact. He shall then raise the Stop Card, and address him thus; –

“You have committed (or are about to commit) an unsafe act and I am raising a Stop Card against you.”

The miscreant should then desist from any activity in which he is involved, pending a thorough risk assessment. Only after a full risk assessment in the presence of a supervisor, can work proceed after the raising of a Stop Card. The urgency of a Stop Card delivery supersedes all other activities. A man, for example, kneeling to receive the honour of a Knighthood from Queen Elizabeth the Second of England, might be about to sink his knee into a potential hazard, left behind by one of the Corgis. Can you imagine the HIPO for scandal among the Palace courtiers, unless YOU had managed, at the last nanosecond, to reach into your back pocket, grab a Stop Card, purposefully approach the rostrum, gain the attention of the about-to-be-knighted and, maintaining eye-contact, announce in an authoritative tone, “You are about to commit an act which will make you and you family and the general public laugh for a very long time indeed……”

So, it was with this in mind that I purposefully approached the office door of my friend Dermot, the Construction Manager. I knew that, at this time in the morning, he would be buried in deeply sleep-inducing discussions with his deputy, about the flange gasket washer valve on the staff mess effluent riser spigot. He would appreciate a little light relief, I was confidently sure.

His office door was ajar, as usual. I knocked and entered. Nothing gets in the way of the bearer of a Stop Card. Dermot looked up in some surprise as I advanced purposefully towards his desk. I produced a Stop Card from behind my back and raised it between us, maintaining eye-contact and intoning the ritual HSE litany as I approached him. “Dermot Eliot. You have committed an unsafe act and I am raising a Stop Card against you.”

“You can’t do that, Hugh!”

“Why not?”

“We’re friends!”

 I couldn’t hold a straight face any longer.

Dermot’s face cracked into a smile. “What’s this all about, anyway? What have I done now?!”

“You built the airstrip facing in the wrong direction and this forced us to land on the left main wheel all the time and we have had another Stop Card raised against us for doing that, on top of the one about the cockpit fans and HSE won’t accept my back-away report about the left main wheel landings because it’s too aggressive and confrontational and the tenders for the new air transport contracts are in and they are coming up at the management meeting at 9 o’clock this morning and…and…it’s all your fault!”

“Well you can’t blame me, Hugh. I am just a Construction Manager. I do as I am told. They tell me where to put the airstrip and in what direction to lay the runway and I do it. The fact that it is pointing in the wrong direction is something which I told them myself. I have read all the correspondence, but they just told me to wind my neck in and get on with it. So I did. We’ve all got wives and families to support, you know!” He threw his hands in the air in a gesture of resignation.

I suddenly had a brain wave and stuck my finger up for attention. “Who was the guy who told you to put the airstrip where it is?”

“It was an old guy called Trent. I don’t believe he’s ever been out of Head Office. He has lost interest a bit, I suppose, since he was offered early retirement.”

“Do you think a Stop Card would grab his attention?”

“Oh yes!” Dermot grinned, “Senior Management don’t like to be held up in public. Particularly old Trent. He was one of the founding fathers of HSE in the company. He was kind of brought in to start the HSE ball rolling and now that it has gathered its own momentum, there’s nothing much more for him to do, so they’re putting him out to pasture.”

“Have you got any Stop Card forms handy, Dermot?”

“I most certainly have, Hugh. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!”

It was fun watching the pin-ball progress of the Stop Card, as it bounced around the intrays of the mandarins in Head Office, but my glee was comparatively short-lived and HSE’s pay-back time came swiftly. Seven stitches had been necessary to staunch the flow of blood from my head when a heavy steel wrench slipped out the hand of Alex, our engineer, who was working, up on the aircraft wing, under which I should not have been standing.

If I had just been wearing a hard hat, I wouldn’t have needed those seven stitches. I’m just thankful that I was no longer on the Sahara gas project when it happened. Those stitches would have cost me an awful lot of beers!